Owen's Birth Story

Note - Labor started at 38w5d pregnant and at 1:00 pm. Exactly the time and pregnancy date it started with Alec. Weird.

Monday, May 24th started out like any other day. Michael and Alec slept in and I had some quiet time to myself to eat breakfast and catch up on some reading. I also made a huge dinner in the crockpot. After they woke up Michael and I sat down and made a huge list of things that we wanted to get done that day, his only really free day before graduation. I should have known that fate would intervene and that the dinner would never get eaten and the tasks would never get done!

I'd been having cramping and spotting for over two weeks at this point so I didn't really think too much of it when I started having cramps again around 1:00 pm. Except they seemed stronger and somewhat more regular, though not that close together. I was a bit suspicious though, or maybe just hopeful. I called Linnie and left her a message, both to ask her what contractions felt like and to prepare her that Alec might be coming to stay with her today and tonight! I decided to hold off on calling my doula until I was more certain this was really something. With Alec the early contractions wrapped all the way around my front and back, like a vise. These were much more centered in the front so I wasn't quite sure.

After doing the dishes I was pretty sure it was the real thing. Linnie called me back and I could tell by the tone of her voice that she knew it was the real thing and that I was just in denial. She kept asking me if my back hurt and it did. So that with the ever more persistent cramping convinced me this must be it. So I called Dalya my doula and left messages on her cell and home - I wasn't ready to track her down through her husband yet, figuring we had tons of time, this was just the beginning and early labor and all that.

Mike tried to settle Alec in for his nap and I started packing my bag and tidying up a little. Dalya called back and asked me how far apart and how long the contractions were - she seemed very surprised when I told her about 4-6 minutes and 40 seconds, though I still didn't see a consistent pattern. She said she'd call her husband to come home to watch her kids and then she'd head right over. As I was packing, the contractions were getting a bit stronger and I needed to bend over the bed or sit on my birth ball to deal with one. But I still had about 6 minutes between them and was feeling good during that time.

I called the OB's office to let them know and I was happy to find out one of my favorite doctors was on call. They told me to just call back when I was ready to go to the hospital so the doctor could meet me there, since I was sure it was too early to head to the hospital at this point. I also called Linnie back to see if her husband Charles would mind coming to pick up Alec since I did want to stay home as long as possible I figured I wouldn't want to make a stop at her house on the way to the hospital. Little did I know how right I would be!

Alec seemed to be refusing to nap and I could hear him playing in his bed. So I went in to play with him for a bit before Charles arrived. I needed some time with my "baby" before our life was altered forever! So we played with his Little People garage and had some snuggles. I told him baby brother was coming and he was so excited, especially about getting to go to his friend Clio's house. Contractions were still coming regularly about 5-7 minutes apart at this point and pretty strong, definitely had to get up and rock/sway/bounce/lean to get through one.

Charles and Dalya arrived around the same time so it was instant chaos. But I was pretty focused on Alec at that point and getting him ready to go. I gave him a huge hug and kiss and then another huge hug. It was hard to say bye, but it helped that he was so happy to be going with Charles and not clinging to me at all. I knew he'd be in good hands. And I guess my body did too. Because literally as soon as they walked out the door the contractions started coming hard and heavy. Really hard. I couldn't believe it. Ouch. Leaning over the bed helped and Dalya did some counter pressure on my back which felt divine. All of a sudden though I had this overwhelming urge to go to the hospital. Mike called the OB and they said to stay put until they called us back. One more intense contraction was all I needed and basically I said forget it, we are going NOW. So we grabbed the bags and headed to the car. I was barefoot because I couldn't bend over to put on my tevas. Why I didn't just put some flip flops on is beyond me. I did have enough reason to yell for Mike to grab my sunglasses though and to call the OBs back and tell them we are on the way!

I felt like something out of a bad sitcom. I couldn't even walk from the apartment to our car without doubling over from a contraction. Nothing like having a contraction in a public parking lot, leaning over someone else's car. Except maybe being in TRANSITION in a car during rush hour. Now that sucks. Luckily rush hour traffic isn't too significant here, but it was enough to make a the trip longer than I would have liked, even with Mike cutting through some parking lots to avoid some lights. We were like maniacs, he was flying and I was holding on to the sunroof with one hand and the roof handle with the other. Trying to focus and stay calm but not doing a great job. The whole trip is a blur of extreme pain. I do remember yelling "How do people do this?" Even though I had wanted a natural birth I was extremely focused on getting to the hospital and getting a shot of something, anything, to just have a few minutes to rest away from this constant pain.

So we pull up in front o the hospital where thankfully they have valet service. They grab a wheelchair for me, Mike hands them the car keys and then pushes me inside. We make an attempt to go to registration but I just look at the girl and yell "I have to go upstairs NOW!" The brilliant woman at the information desk offers her advice "now that woman is in labor" - thank you for filling me in! So Mike wheels me around and basically runs to the elevators with me half in half out of the chair trying to deal with the contractions.

We get to the maternity ward and it is calm and quiet. The nurse at the desk looks at us and waves us further down the hall. I am confused and see no one so start yelling "somebody help me!" and then there are about 4 nurses there and they are pointing us at a room. I start yelling "I don't want this room!" I knew that would be the room we'd get, I just knew it and I didn't want it. It was the one we saw on the hospital tour, just like we got the one we saw on the hospital tour with Alec. I felt it was bad karma or coincidence since I wanted this birth to be so different. But there were no other rooms available so it was this room or the hallway. I took the room.

The doctor was on her way but one of the midwives was there and wanted to check me to see how dilated I was. I kept asking (ok, yelling) for a shot - anything to make this constant pain stop. Subconsciously I was embarrassed but I knew I was in a bad place and I couldn't seem to relax because there was almost no break between contractions. They kept telling me as soon as they checked me they could give me something. Getting on that bed to get checked was one of the most painful things, there was no way to deal with the pain lying down. And then the exam showed that I was completely dilated. And basically what that meant was no pain medication. At least I could stand up now and I was hanging off of Mike's neck which helped a little. They got some monitors on me and started the IV. Someone got me socks as well which I was very grateful for,

The doctor arrived and she wanted to check me herself. All of a sudden I began having intense downward pressure and my water slowly started to break. The doctor wanted to break the rest of my waters and get an ultrasound because she couldn't feel the baby's head. It was really hard to get a good picture and I think they must have tried for 5 minutes until they decided yes baby was head down. I have to admit part of me was actually hopeful he had turned breech and then I could have the c-section and the pain would end. This is how out of my mind I was. But then they couldn't get a good read on his heartrate and that freaked me out. There was a confusing period with lots of yelling and the doctor saying if the heartrate didn't stabilize we would do the section now. She decided to do the internal fetal monitor and that showed a strong and steady heartrate so we were in the clear.

The doctor did say that even though he is head down, if I want the c-section she would do one since I'd already had one it was up to me. She said she thought this baby would come out but it would take awhile because he looked big and he was so high, it would take a lot to get him down. Thankfully Mike and Dalya knew I didn't want the c-section and were very strong voices against that. Honestly in my current state of pain I was about ready to give in, anything to stop the pain.

My whole memory is a little foggy, even just a few days later. I think the pain makes everything a little fuzzy. I think my contractions must have slowed a bit because I think I was dealing better with the pain. Or at least I remember the pushing part as a period of relative calm after the chaos of our arrival and the initial checks. We started pushing at about 5:45. We had gotten to the hospital at a little after 5. I was actually on my back pushing which I knew wasn't the best position but literally I could barely lift my legs to push, there was no way I could have stood or squatted. Thankfully pushing helped me focus again and it actually helped with the pain. I felt like I was pushing it away or something like that.

So I push and I push. And then I push some more. I remember lots of nurses in the room, lots of support and encouragement - they were all great cheerleaders. They were saying what a great job I was doing and I was having a hard time believing them. I was really afraid this baby would get stuck just like Alec. The doctor was wonderful, so many times I asked her if he was really coming down, if she could see him, etc. And each time she looked me right in the eye and said "You are doing it, he is coming down and he will come out. Just keep pushing like you are." I seemed to be an effective pusher, but to me it felt like it was taking forever.

Eventually everyone could see his head. Michael was very encouraging, telling me this was much further than we ever got with Alec, this baby was coming, etc. Though I did tell him not to tell me he could only see a "little" of the baby's head. I needed to hear "a lot" of head! They got me a mirror and I could see the top of the baby's head. I asked them to take it away though, I just couldn't deal or focus with it there. I was very calm between contractions and pushes, but once the contraction started, I would yell "here it comes" and "help me" because I honestly could not lift my legs on my own and needed help. I did vocalize at the end of pushing which seemed helpful, much more helpful than my yelling "I don't want to do this!" - I felt like my 2-year old!

As the baby descended further I felt this immense pressure on my tailbone. I guess he was having a hard time getting under the pubic bone and there was a ton of tailbone pressure. I had a lot of lower abdomen pain as well and was scared it was a sign of uterine rupture. But my doctor assured me it was normal. I think I yelled "arrrgh, my tailbone" a lot at this point. I was a bit crazy. The doctor was great, though she did keep telling me if the baby was smaller he would have been here by now, it was because he was so big that he was having problems getting down - but he would come down, I just had to push harder. So I did. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed.

I started to feel more pressure lower down and they said the baby was crowning - I was surprised because I didn't feel the "ring of fire" that I had read about and others had described. Just widening and more pressure. I felt what one book described as the expulsion reflex though. The pushes that got the baby out were different from the other ones, longer and deeper if that makes sense. So his head came out. I had thought it would feel weird to have the head out and the body still in, but there are so many sensations and just pressure that it didn't feel like I thought it would. The doctor was a bit nervous about the shoulders and so was I, but with just a little wriggling and some strong pushing one came out then the other. One more push and he was out. I couldn't believe it. I think I kept saying "he came out, he came out." He was born at 8:05 pm.

They put him right on my chest before they cut the cord and I got to look right into those big deep blue-black eyes. He had such dark hair! And so much of it! So different from Alec, I was so amazed. He also had a lot of soft peach fuzzy hair all over, especially on his back. I just kept staring at this amazing boy - I couldn't believe he had actually come from me. At this point he still did not have a name, we had thought maybe we'd know it once we saw him, but we still weren't sure.

Michael got to cut the cord and the doctor and nurse were in awe over the baby's cord, kept saying how beautiful it was. Whatever! The placenta came almost immediately and the doctor said that was nice and healthy as well - I declined her offer to show it to me. Then came the worst part. Worse than labor, worse than delivery. The stitches. She gave me a shot of lydacaine, but I don't think it had any affect. It was a pretty deep tear and needed quite a few stitches. I got to hold the baby during all of this though and that helped a little, at least gave me something to focus on besides the stitching. Just ouch.

The nurse came to take the baby to clean him up and everyone wanted to know just how big he was. I could not believe it when they said 9 lbs 5 oz. I knew my belly had been big, but good grief! Alec was only 8 lbs - that is a huge difference! The nurse asked me if I felt like a superchamp having birthed this big guy naturally. And honestly, I was too exhausted to feel much. I was still reeling from the fast transition, the pain, the long pushing, the amazement that it had actually happened, I was still trying to digest that fact, let alone that the baby was huge! I felt so completely run over that I remember thinking how do people do this more than once? No way could I go through that again. Though writing this a week later I can tell you that I have already changed my tune, but then I just couldn't imagine how people do this - despite the fact that I had just done that!

The doctor came over and gave me a big hug and kiss and congratulated me and then hugged Dalya and said she was glad she had been there which I thought was great. I was so glad I had a doula with me, even though it had been so quick. She was great at keeping me focused and massaging my shoulders and feet/legs between pushes. I really think it did help avoid the c-section. Just keeping me focused on what I really wanted from this birth.

I got to hold the baby and try to feed him while the nurse cleaned everything up and did the paperwork. It was a sweet quiet time, looking at and holding my baby. She delayed the vitamin K and eye ointment as well so that was nice, a little extra bonding time. Nursing took a couple attempts but once this little guy latched on he was good to go. I call him the latch machine.

What a journey. 7 hours from start to finish. And really only about 4 hours of which were active labor and on a high pain scale. So many emotions - pain, fear, joy, determination, apprehension, relief, amazement, pride. Happiness. Plain and simple happiness. All because of this one little guy. My sweet baby boy.