December 2003

14w1d:
Four weeks since I found out how far along I am by ultrasound and since I got to see your little heart beating on the screen. According to my pregnancy book you are now the size of a peach. Still just a little thing. My belly is not so little though. I'd read that the 2nd time around you show earlier but I didn't think I'd look so pregnant at this point. With Alec at 14 weeks I still hadn't even told my job yet I was pregnant so I was obviously hiding it well. This time around that wouldn't be possible. I outgrew all my clothes at 8 weeks this time I think. I am living in Linnie's awesome big jeans, fleece pants and my Liz Lange lounge outfit that I love. Love Target. Anyway....

So today I went back to the doctor for a regular checkup and for an early sugar test since I did have gestational diabetes with Alec. Oh that orange drink is foul. For some reason it was so much worse this time, no idea why. Maybe because I forgot to refrigerate it. Anyway, so had that. Everything seems to be good, blood pressure is good though I can;t remember the actual numbers - something over 80 which is actually a little high for me but still normal. Probably was high because I had Alec with me at the appointment and I can't say he was on his best behavior. Too many enticing toys in the waiting room, he didn't want to come back to the exam rom with me. I am sure all those first time moms in the waiting room were thinking "oh my kid will never act like that" as I once thought so many naive years ago!

Weight gain is up a total of 10 pounds, so no more loss and I doubt there will be anymore from this point on! Full steam ahead. Hopefully not 40 pounds again like with Alec but oh well, whatever it takes to make a healthy baby. And your heartbeat is good and strong and fast. Still at 150 - just like Alec! I so wonder if you are a boy or girl. Some things about the pregnancy are so different, some so similar. Who knows - well only you! The doctor couldn't find your heartbeat for a few minutes which she said was normal since you have so much room to swim around right now but I was still nervous. I don;t think I'll relax until we get through the awful AFP test and possible amnio and then the level II ultrasound.

The doctor did freak me out a bit. I'm having the AFP test on the 16th before we leave for Florida for a month, I won't get the results until the 29th - because the labs are sent to California and there will likely be a delay because of the holidays. I am assuming the results will be abnormal because they were with Alec. And that means the amnio decision. I would probably go ahead and have it but I am nervous on two fronts - with Alec I had a top perionatalogist do it at one of the best medical centers in the country. This time it would be at our small country hospital - unless they send me to Elmira or Syracuse which actually maybe they do. That would make me feel a bit better. Also my doctor said the risk of amnio really goes up after 18 weeks and if we want to do an amnio I should consider changing my travel plans to come back from FL at 18 weeks rather than waiting till 20 weeks which is when we are scheduled to come back. Ugh. The stress. I did look it up and I had the amnio with Alec at 19w6d - so basically 20 weeks and no one ever mentioned a higher risk. Ugh. Lets just hope the results come back normal.

And I do have an ultrasound scheduled on January 19th. So excited! This is the anatomy scan where they will measure all your parts and we'll get to see so much of you on the screen. I can't wait. Your dad still doesn't want to find out boy or girl so we probably won't. Part of me wants to find out and part of me likes the surprise. I can't help hope for a girl because it would be nice to have one of each, but then I just love having a son and would love another one. It would be so fun to watch two brothers grow up together. As long as you are healthy I will be happy and I know I will fall in love with you as soon as you are in my arms. I can't wait to hold you!

15w0d:
Well I don't have gestational diabetes - yet. It didn't show up until 34 weeks with Alec so I am not out of the woods yet but at least I will get to enjoy all the Christmas cookies in the next few weeks!

I have been having such weird belly pains (sort of on the side around the belly curve) and back pains that I didn't or at least don't remember having with Alec. Must be the round ligament stretching pains. I'd think everything would be nice and loose and stretched out by now!

A friend of mine Danielle who is a birth instructor came over for tea this morning and we just had a really good chat - well when we weren't being interrupted by the kids! She asked me some good soul searching questions about Alec's birth and made me think a lot about this coming birth and what I thought my body was capable of. She also told me some things I didn't know about uterine rupture in regards to how the uterus works, especially when contracting so it did put my fears at ease a bit about that. Still scary though. So I am still hoping for a nice easy VBAC, and am going to force myself to think positively about it which is just not in my nature. But I will try.

You know you are pregnant when you pour lemon garlic marinade on top of your salad instead of dressing. GROSS.

15w2d:
Have moved officially into maternity clothes and even taken some belly shots. All of a sudden I am huge! Feeling good though so that is good.

16w0d:
Flying sucks while pregnant. It's not great not pregnant, but all the extra bathroom breaks are just not fun. Somehow we have made it though - hopefully some of the holiday stress will go away now that at least the travel part is complete. Of course the airlines losing our luggage didn't help matters, but I managed to stay relatively calm. (hahaha)

16w2d:
Everyone is sick! Michael has the stomach flu, Alec and I have colds, just so miserable. And to make matters worse, Florida is cold! Hopefully we will all avoid Michael's stomach bug and we'll all be well soon and enjoying some sunshine soon. I hope.

16w6d:
Christmas Eve. Hormonal wreck. I somehow managed to forget to pack Alec's Christmas pajamas. This somehow managed to push me completely over the edge and I had a very cathartic crying session over it. Managed to run around like a fool to a mall this morning - just what I wanted to do on Christmas Eve - and locate a suitable pair. Holiday clothes for boys in general suck, and even more so above size 24 months. If Alec was a girl I would have had no problems getting something much more quickly. So frustrating!

17w0d:
I am convinced I am truly feeling you move now. For awhile I thought I was imagining it, willing it to be so. But this is real, not even just butterfly feelings but actual movements. Pushing on my skin type movements. I didn't have that with Alec until much much later, I didn't even feel the butterfly pops with him until 20 weeks. So this is very cool :)

Some bad news though. I have once again failed my AFP test. The results weren't as bad this time. My risk is about 1 in 230 where it should be 1 in 295. So my risk is about the same as a 36 year old. Still a little freaked out by it all. With Alec the results were more like 1 in 70 so my risk was really high. I do have an amnio and Level II ultrasound scheduled for January 19th for you though. I am a bit on the fence about the amnio, but will probably go ahead with it. Just for that reassurance. I think if I hadn't had one before and were given these odds I may not have one. I don't know. But the procedure wasn't too bad last time. I am more worried about after. Last time I got to rest for 4 days, rent movies and hang out on the couch. Now I will be chasing crazy Alec all around - not much rest. Sigh.

I have a real belly now. Has those cool indents along the sides and top now and my belly button is much wider and flatter - very definite belly signs. Not just looking fat anymore! I think I look a lot bigger than 17 weeks though. Scary stuff.