September - November 2003

5w0d - October 1st
Well, it seems that I am pregnant. Most shocking and surprising news! I have been taking pregnancy tests for the last few weeks and they have all been negative. No period since late July/early August so I figured something was up but the tests kept coming back negative so I didn't know what to think. So I went to see my doctor and she wanted to do a pregnancy test before trying to do anything to regulate my period. I honestly assumed it would be as negative as all the others. So when the nurse told me it was positive and I was pregnant I was completely overwhelmed. I felt the same crazy rush of emotions the first time I found out I was pregnant - maybe even a few more since it was more of a surprise. So many questions flying through my mind!

It had been a long afternoon trying to entertain Alec for the 90 minutes we waited at the doctor's office so I was pretty beat so we just went home. I think I made frozen pizza for dinner that night, can't remember. I didn't tell Michael right away, I wanted to wait until after dinner when things were calmer. When I did finally tell him, he said he wasn't surprised. That I had been acting funny all night and he knew I had gone to the doctor's. He is very happy and excited which is a huge relief to me because I was worried about the timing - right around graduation! Things will definitely be exciting come May in the Rothenberg household!

Since I had a c-section with Alec, I can't go to my GP doctor for care. I am bummed because I just love her and feel so comfortable with her and confident in her and the practice does a lot of deliveries in town and have a great reputation. Sigh. She recommended the midwife/OB practice several of my friends had gone to so I called over there. The woman I talked to was extremely friendly and I felt immediately at ease. My first appointment will be on the 20th with one of the midwives - I can't wait! After all those negative pregnancy tests I find it hard to actually believe this pregnancy is real!

6w1d
We are leaving for Hang and Doug's wedding in California. I am a little stressed - none of my dresses fit, I seem to have immediately widened in the belly hip area. Yuck. Plus I am not ready to tell everyone yet - I am still too shocked and surprised and probably a bit in denial. And it is Hang's day so it's not the time for sharing news anyway. But that means no drinking and lots of people wondering why. Saying I am still nursing my 19 month old is probably not a reasonable excuse!

Overall the trip to LA is just plain exhausting. Alec is a bear on the flights, LA just is not all that fun (with the exception of seeing Ana Maria and her family and then Jamie). Once we get to Laguna Beach and to Hang's wedding though, it is a great time. So much fun to be back with my college roommates and we get some great girl time together for manicures and lunch while Michael takes Alec. I do notice that Carrie isn't drinking either.....I am suspicious she is pregnant too but decide it is not my business to ask.

Trang tells me that she and Pam were wondering if I was pregnant and decided since I ordered iced tea at lunch I wasn't - I had to bite my tongue when she told me. I am pregnant, just sometimes I need to indulge in a little caffeine!

I felt like a lame duck most of the weekend not drinking and I just wasn't feeling myself anyway with the pregnancy and all. Pretty urky. All I want to eat is nuts. So bizarre. I need my can of cashews!!

7w0d
Back from LA and immediately the next day Alec and I get in the car and head for PA and my parents house for a visit. I am pretty drained and decide there is no point in keeping the pregnancy a secret and I'd rather tell them in person anyway. So I do. They are very surprised but very excited. I decided to hold off on telling my grandparents though just since it is so early, though now I don't know why I didn't just tell them anyway.

Unfortunately my car broke down on the way back home form my parents. UGH! Luckily I was already stopped (had to got the bathroom of course!) and my car just wouldn't start. So it could definitely could have been worse. At least Alec and I were safe. But still such a major pain to deal with! And in the end we end up being carless for almost 4 weeks. Just what every pregnant woman needs!!

7w5d
Luckily the doctor's office is literally right across the street form our apartment complex so I can still go to my appointment no problem even though we don't have a car. Michael stayed with Alec which was great so I could have a stress free appointment. I really liked the midwife I met with. She was very comfortable and put me at ease about a lot of things. We talked a lot about my care since I had a previous c-section. I told her all about Alec's birth and she was very understanding and made me really feel OK about everything. She told me a lot about Posterior births and how they work - or more likely don't work. Basically she made me feel like I had done a good job trying to get him out but that some posterior babies just don't cooperate. Or can't cooperate.

Anyway, I can't just see the midwives. I have to have joint care with the OBs or just see the OBs. Whenever there is a VBAC birth an OB has to be present in the hospital as well as the anesthesiologist. I am hopeful I can have a midwife birth and hopefully the doctor will just be there as an unnecessary backup. I hope. The midwife was very open and honest and actually gave me good insight to the various doctors and their approach to VBAC and joint care with the midwives. I hope this works out. If it looks like I end up just with the doctors, I'll probably look into a doula. But I am getting ahead of myself - no need to freak out about the actual birth yet. I need to get through the pregnancy first!

The midwife said my uterus feels 8-9 weeks along and she scheduled an ultrasound for me to date the pregnancy. I can not wait to find out how far along I really am and when my due date it. It is so weird not knowing! Plus once we see there really is a baby in there I will feel so much more reassured. Though hearing the heartbeat today helped immensely. The midwife had to try for about 5 minutes to find the heartbeat but she did and I am so glad - I was getting scared there even though I knew it was way on the early side to be able to hear the heart at this point. But I got to hear it. That beautiful "wop wop wop wop" sound! That does give me lots of reassurance and I feel confident enough to at least start telling my friends now.

8w0d
Not sure when exactly, but definitely sometime this week I told Linnie, Vivi and Tiffany in person about my pregnancy. It was fun to tell them and share such great news - now it's all come full circle as we have all been pregnant sometime during our friendship here. Kind of cool :)

8w2d
Your Rothenberg grandparents arrived for the weekend and we told them about you by placing a sticker on Alec's butt that said "I'm the big brother" and waited to see when they would find it. Grammy found it first and then the word was out. Again, I think lots of surprise, but lots of happiness too!

10w1d
Well we had our ultrasound today. And another shocker. I am only 10w1d - with a due date of June 2nd! Unbelievable! I thought for sure you were a mid-May baby. This shock may be bigger than the actual pregnancy. Ack! Going to be a busy, busy time for us. Looks like I may not be making Michael's graduation on the 30th. Ack!

11w-13w
Not too too much to report. Feeling a bit better, not as urky. Now I am more in the tired, need to go to bed at 8 pm every night phase. Most days I nap with Alec or veg out at least while he is napping. Can't remember how I got through this stage while I was actually working. I think I must have napped at my desk a few times!

Have shared the news with just about everyone now, either by email or in person. I found out my friend Carrie is indeed pregnant and we had a good laugh over how we kept it from each other in California. She is due in early June as well so that will be fun!

I really think I feel you moving in there baby. Not like the movements I felt at first with Alec - pops and jabs. But it's like I feel you swimming - very swooshy swirling feeling. Maybe I am imagining it or maybe I am more in tune this time. I don't know. Either way I think it's cool :)

Found out one of my best friends Rebecca is pregnant too! Yay! Due sometime this summer, she's having the US to date her pregnancy right before Christmas. We've already had a great time talking and emailing about PG and baby stuff - this will be fun, fun, fun!